SteviesThoughts

I’ve gained some weight back. I can’t even being to tell my stories of everything that’s happened in my life thiese past few weeks. To sum it up in a nutshell w/out all the yucky details -I’ve been having martial problems, my husband’s health was very poor & I think working all day, night & even weekends finally hit me like a ton of bricks.

Things are better now though. My husband is better, our marriage is a TON better & tonight is my last night working 2nd job! I’m excited to see what happens next. I’m also ready to go back to my healthy lifestyle.

I’ve decided to live out the rest of the month a lazy one. My 2 yr. anniversary is next week & I want to be able to eat & drink badley w/out guilt haha. My husband has also been talking about wanting to go all you can eat pizza dinner & I gatta admit -the fat girl in me is excited! So I’m gunna just live out the rest of the month a fatty & enjoy myself & then prepare myself to diet through the hardest part of the year!!! THE HOLIDAYS! I figure I’ll spoil myself the rest of sep & then get strict again. After all I’ve got Halloween, Christmas & New Years ahead of me. I’ll do it though. I’ll push thoughts of food to the back of my head & focus on living! Not eating!

I hope all my buddies are doing good! Love you all!

~Stevie

RANDOM THOUGHTS

I haven’t really felt like I’ve been dieting lately? Perhaps it’s bc I’m not as strict as I should be w/ myself. I’m still watching what I eat & going for my runs when I’m able to but if I want an extra scoop of poatoes w/ dinner I give it to myself, if we have rootbeer float time at work & I have a little.

Basically, I’m living a lifestyle that is maintaining my weight -not losing it. Which would be great if this is where I wanted to be!

I haven’t been weighing myself everyday like I normally do either. I’m sick of watching the scale bounce between 136 & 140. It’s a little discouraging.

I still have in the back of my mind, “eat good, make good choices, get your exercise in, move as much as possible…” But I’m not firm w/ it.

I’m not logging things down as much either. Last week I was really good about writting down the time, the food & calories of evertyhing I ate -now I’m skipping a log here & skipping a jot-down there.

Maybe I’m losing intrest again in dieting? Maybe I should go buy a fancy pretty notebook & a new Dance cardio DVD this weekend to get me excited & motivated again? It won’t cost much & it might help?

Well these have just been some of my random thoughts. I hope that you all are more focused then me. I would really like to get ride of these nagging 5-10lbs & feel stronger but I need to kick it up a gear if I’m gunna do so. Then I can come back to where I am now to maintain a healthy body. Have a great weekend everyone & stay healthy, happy & fit!

~Stevie @ ?lbs

MY 3-Day-WEEKEND

I had an awsome long weekend! Saturday my husband had to work so I started to tear & rip my house apart only to clean, organize & move everything around. By the end of the day I was wiped out. I know I didn’t go for a long run as planned, but I’m for sure that I burned more calories cleaning than I would have if I went for a run anyhow! I watched what I ate, which wasn’t hard to do bc I was so focused on my house. Food was the last thing on my mind.

Sunday I woke up wanting to finish what I started. My husband & I made a shopping trip into town & got a few things for the house that I wanted to get to complete the project! We also bought a new video game for the wii. It was called “boogie…” something? I can’t remember? After we got home, I finished the house -which didn’t take long. Then we started to play our new game.

I gatta tell you gals -if any of you have a wii -BUY THIS GAME! It was so fun! You sing & dance to songs & I got such a workout not to mention having a blast w/ my husband (I’m so lucky to have a goofball who loves me!) My arms are killing me from it! I can’t wait until next weekend to play it again!

Sunday I ate pretty well again, it wasn’t hard. Monday was our Labor Day holiday -NO WORK! Yay! We had a softball practice that ran 3 hours long! I was pooped! After we got home I was pretty run down from a fun & successful weekend & was ready to lounge. However I started to eat poorly Monday evening. I ate some cookies, pizze for dinner & ice cream before bed -ugh! *Goodbye workouts*

All in all I had a pretty good weekend thouhg. I slipped up last night, but I’m not beating myself up over it bc I did so well over the entire 3 days! I got a lot of activity in too! I’m happy & that is my main goal -to be happy! I hope that you all had a wonderful weekend too!

~A Soar Stevie @ 140lbs

FORESEE THE WEEKEND!

I was feeling great this morning! I had been eating well, exercising again & logging it all down. Then today work got the best of me when the forman brought in Grandma’s Home-made Coconut Cream pie ~OMG~. So I had a piece & gave into the fat life of an office workee for a moment. But at lunch I snapped back into it w/ a bowel of oatmeal w/ blueberries & almonds. I felt better after that until the office decided they wanted another break time to finish off the pie. I went down there w/ the anticipation of just visiting & politly skipping the pie …but again, I gave in into the fat life -damn’t!

So I had a falling out today & the day isn’t even close to being over! I won’t have time to exercise the jiggly wiggly off from my fat pie ~2 servings!!~. Tonight my husband & I have plans to go to a friends to play boardgames so the choice for dinner will probably be a greasy pizza *sarcasticly says “joy”*.

I guess I’m at a loss for today. But my husband has plans to get up early to work some in the moring -I’m planning on going for a LOOOONG run while he’s gone to copensate for today & to help jump start on a new day! So I’m really super excited for tomorrow!

That doesn’t mean I’m giving up today, I’m still watching what I eat & making sure portions are small! It’s just that the odds are against me on this one.

The weekend will be here within a few hours & I’m kind of scared! With weekends there is no routine so it’s harder to maintain! While having some days off are fun & lovey …my diet suffers majorly!

I hope that you all truimph the long 3 day weekend with success! I know that I’m going to try w/ all my might! While today might be laughing in my face I still have tomorrow to prove that I still got it! Have a happy, fun, active & healthy weekend Buddies!

~Stevie @ 138lbs

FEELING GOOD!

Yesterday I had a good day. I love having those! I probably didn’t eat enough, but I had heartburn all day long. I think I drank too much tea which caused the heartburn -bummer. But when I did eat, I ate good!

I even got my booty out in the hot 106 humid summer day & ran for 25minutes then walked another 20minutes. I hate trying to run after not doing it for a while. Lately I’ve only been running like once a week! And running is NOT something you can stop & just pick up again! But I think I did pretty well given the circumstances

So I’m back on my positive stride! I feel good today too, I just feel more confident & in control. I even skipped root beer float time at work yesterday & today! Woo-Hoo! I still went to the break room & visited w/ everyone while they gave me a hard time & busted my chops about skipping out on the dessert…but that’s okay! Bc I can handle the crap being talked into my ear -It’s my muffin top that I CAN’T handle! haha

*sings* I’m rockin the beer gut, I’m ROCKIN the beeeer gut *sings*  My husband loves that country song haha…maybe he’s trying to tell me something?

Okay, falling off track here. I’m feeling good! Hope everyone else is too!

~Stevie @ 139lbs

MY WEEKEND 

It’s been a long  & unsuccessful weekend. Friday night I was so motivated & excited about logging all my food in the buddyslim’s Food Journal. But as I was sitting there & trying to get all my nutirition facts logged into my “favorite foods” in hopes to save time when I later went to log everything…I became so frustrated! It was taking forever for the pages to load & it kept freezing -ugh! I know it wasn’t my computer bc it’s newer & I have high speed internet…it did the same thing when I tried to use it at work too! I eventually said forget! It was very discouraging & bursted my bubble.

Saturday I had to work all day scorekeeping on my booty. So to avoid sneaking off to the snack bar full of candies & fried foods I packed a bunch of healthy foods such as triscuts, fruits & yogurts. I did great up until the point I was done w/ work & my husband wanted pizza for dinner. So I ate 1/2 a calzone…bad choice -I know.

Sunday my day was planned the same as Sunday. Work all day, packed healthy snacks. I felt good like I was getting back on track from a fall  sat. night w/ pizza. Then I was done w/  work & my husband wanted Chili’s -ugh. So I hate 2 mini burgers & 1/2 my fries…bad choice -I know! I even went home & felt discouraged about my no food journaling & late evening weaknesses over the weekend & drank 2 beers & ate a ding dong -ugh.

SO I didn’t have the best of weekends. I put in over 18hrs over the weekend at work  & I’m back at work today doing my day job. I’m burnt out, tired & finding it so hard to maintain strong in the evenings. I’ll get there -I just need a weekend to re-boot. I won’t give up.

-Stevie p.s. I didn’t even weigh in today.

I’M BACK

Yesterday I had a good day. It was the 1st good day I’ve seen in a looooong long time. I only ate when I was hungry, I logged everything down in my food journal, I drank green tea w/ every meal to help supress hunger, I didn’t think about food - I thought about progress, I ran for 5mins before my earphones to my mp3 went dead on me, & then I played my softball game that was an hour long.

I did good yesterday & I want to keep doing good. At this very moment there is a box of big, moist, white choclate macadamia nut cookies sitting next to a platter of chocolate white frosted homemade cake in the breakroom -And I don’t even want any. Before yesterday you would have had to chain me to my desk to keep me from eating them…but today I just want to be able to log good things in my food journal.

I’m back & I feel in control again.

-Stevie @139lbs p.s. Thank Khmer for yelling at me to do it & all my other buddies who did the same haha, thanks!

PANTS DON’T FIT TODAY

So my pants don’t fit me today. Actually now that I think about it none of my clothes fit me anymore? I’m really losing it. I went to put my pants on this morning & it was a tight fit. All my stretchy pants & skirts were in the dirty laundry so I had no choice but to put myself through this uncomfortable, fat, very subconsious feeling  all  day.

*grumbles* damn rootbeer float breaks at work *grumbles*

MY TETER-TOTER

I know in my 23 years of life the key to living a healthy happy one is balance. However, my teter-toter has a fat kid sitting at 1 end while my skinny kid is stuck in the air & helpless! We’ll name my fat kid “Work” & my skinny girl stuck in the air “Good choices”.

I work all day, have an hour to eat, run,  & get to my 2nd to job to work all night. It’s exhuasting! I’m not even going to mention the hours I put in on my weekends.

But what can you do when you need the money bc your husband’s at low point financially?

What do you do when you can’t budge your fat kid off the tetor-toter so someone can help the skinny girl down?

I just feel like I have no energy after working to make the right choices. I give in to the hamburger over the salad bc I don’t have the stregnth to argue w/ myself at the end of a hard day. I sit on the couch, sleep & watch tv instead of getting up to walk the dogs when I DO have an hour to myself at home bc I’m too tired to want to do anything else.

It just feels impossible right now.

-Stevie @ 141lbs

UGH

I had originally planned to start a positive new healthy lifestyle Sunday, however, I didn’t plan to drink waaaaay too much at my bbq Saturday night. So I ended up accomplishing nothing Sunday, unless you count a hangover as something?

So today I decided to make it my day! Then TOM decided to pay me a visit 1st thing this morning -ugh. I didn’t let it stop me though. I decided that I was still going to take today on w/ a positive attitude & try my best to do better & I have so far.

I’m extremely tired & even though I’m trying to act as if I’m 100% fantastic people are still reading me like a book bc they are asking me, “Are you okay? You look tired?” -ugh.

All I can do is press on. I have to make a turn around or I’m gunna end up looking like a cow. Moooooooooo-u-g-h.

-Stevie @141lbs.